


New Person, Same Old Mistakes

by In_Your_Wildest_Dreams



Category: Booksmart (2019)
Genre: Drama, F/F, Music, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:33:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27594857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_Your_Wildest_Dreams/pseuds/In_Your_Wildest_Dreams
Summary: I don’t want to spoil anything... but sometimes deciding to call your ex while you're drunk might not end up being a bad thing.
Relationships: Amy/Hope (Booksmart)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Hope reaches into her jeans’ front pockets, shortly into her back pockets. Not finding her phone in either, she goes through all the holes of her jacket, then tastes the bitter disappointment of not noticing her phone’s been in front of her all this time. 

She lets out a soft giggle, which doesn’t find any vacant ears. But as if called, the bartender approaches on the opposite side of the bar. Without a question, she refills Hope’s glass, with something she isn’t even sure what is anymore. 

Hope takes a sip then picks her phone up and with some struggle dials the phone number of the person whose fault it is that she’s in a bar right now, drinking away her feelings. 

Amy’s phone goes off at the worst moment, just before she could hear the ending of George’s story about his Denmark vacation. Despising rudeness, Amy doesn’t leave the table, instead turns a little around, so she doesn’t talk right into George’s speech either. 

“Hello?”

From the other side, a drunk voice starts babbling things Amy’s never imagined would be thrown at her. 

“Now you listen to me, you asshole... yes, I’ve done a few dumb things. But you, you’re a different level. You know… and… I, I did throw away that horrendous soap carving you call art, that your mother left at the apartment. Yes, I did. But you didn’t have to cheat on me, you know… because that shit hurts in a _whole_ other way. So, fuck you, okay?”

“I’m sorry?” Shortly, a few heartbeat skips drive Amy nervous. 

“No, being sorry does _not_ make anything better. I’m not letting you fuck me over one more time. Because at this point it’s a shame on _me_ for being this fucking dumb. Because I’m angry and then I see you again and you give me that _look_ , so fuck you.”

A perplexed Amy realizes that the voice coming from her phone is echoing in her other ear from a different source. But just to make sure, she makes the person talk again, “are you sure there isn’t anything I could do, to make things better?” 

“No, no, there isn’t. My God, you cheated on me. _Cheated_! And I know about Linda, too.”

As Amy listens to the girl on the other side of the phone, her hunch is confirmed as she gets closer and closer to a person sitting at the bar, vehemently persuading somebody about something on the phone. 

“What if we talked it out in person?” Amy asks and steps to the girl.

“Talk what out? There is nothing to talk about.”

Amy lowers her phone, taps the girl’s shoulder, and tells her that, “I think there is.”

Hope looks at Amy and rudely tells her to fuck off, because she’s in the middle of a phone conversation, then proceeds to yell into the phone, “there is fucking not, okay? You fucking cheated. Twice!”

Amy tries talking to the girl, in person, one more time, “listen, I’m sorry, but you dialed the wrong number.”

“What about me asking you to fuck off was not clear?”

“You might be telling me to fuck off in person, but you’re still talking to me on the phone.”

Hope takes a moment to think, but her brain does not provide her with enough not-drunk brain cells that could help her figure out what is going on. “What?” She softly asks the stranger.

“I think, um, you might have the wrong number,” Amy tries explaining, but the girl still doesn’t seem to understand, so she grabs the empty stool and sits down, sensing the conversation is going to be longer, taking into consideration the drunken state the girl is in. “You’ve yelled at the wrong person, right just now. Um. I’m not sure whom you’ve intended to call, but I doubt it would be me.”

“Wait, you’re not Avery, huh?”

Looking at the girl, Amy is even a little sad that she has to say no to her question.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m Amy.”

The girl gives Amy a suspicious look, “but how did you find me?”

“As unbelievable as it is, I’m here with my friends. I heard you yelling, the, the whole bar heard you, I think. I thought I would come to tell you that, in person.”

“Oh no. I’m-”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. I was, that was meant to go to my ex.”

“I gathered that.”

“Oh, shit. How can I make it up to you? I’m so sorry. I feel as bad as I want my ex to feel.”

“If you really feel that bad, then it would be unfair of me to ask anything else that would compensate me. Besides, it could happen to anyone.”

“I doubt that. But let me buy a drink at least.“

“There’s no need. It’s all good.”

Hope watches as Amy hops off the barstool, but she doesn’t want her to leave, “wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Um, just, thanks for, for not yelling at me.”

“No problem,” Amy smiles, then walks back to her friends.

Amy gets interrogated as to where she’s gone off to, but she keeps it short since not even a minute goes by when her phone starts ringing again. She looks back at the bar and sees the girl holding the phone to her ear again - she just knows it’s her again. 

“It’s me again,” Amy warns the girl before she’d yell at her again, “you might wanna delete my number.”

“Yeah, no, that’s not it. Can you come over here for a second, please?”

Amy excuses herself, with confusion, walks back to the bar. 

“Here I am.”

“Listen, so, I don’t think this was a coincidence, you see.”

Amy’s even more confused, “like this was an act or?”

“No, no, oh no, that would be creepy. No. I meant that me calling you by accident means something. So, I have a… an emotional obligation to my, uh, sober self to ask you out… on a date.”

Amy is taken aback a little, “You seem nice, but I, I’m the last person who has time for dating right now. My life is a mess. It’s impossible. I’d have to clone myself.”

“Sure, I get that. But save my number, in case you ever end up doing that.”

As Amy’s walking back to her friends, she notices they all wear wide grins. They pin all sorts of questions, since, evidently, they’ve watched her conversation with the girl at the bar. 

“And why did she call you the second time?” 

“She asked me out.”

“And?” Gigi asks in everyone’s anticipation.

“Nothing. I don’t have the time for dating right now.”

Molly scoffs, “unbelievable.”

“No, don’t start. I spend my life at the studio, you know that. It’s a freaking miracle I’m here tonight.”

Molly retorts, “you _choose_ to do that. That’s why you call _that_ your life.”

Amy scowls, “but only because-”

Before she’d finish the sentence everyone at the table finishes it for her in unison, “you’re too tired to even try.”

“We know,” an annoyed George adds and rolls his eyes. Then Molly gives another try to give Amy a good argument as to why give the girl a chance, “you find yourself in a situation when love comes knocking on your door, the thing that doesn’t ever happen, as we’ve all been told at one point or another by somebody in our lives, and you shut the door on her face?”

“Yes, okay, I’m dumb. So what do I do? Go back there and say I’ve changed my mind? And it doesn’t come off as discouraging at all that I had to think about it. As if she wasn’t hot enough for me to say, under different circumstances, yes immediately.”

“Whatever you want to say to her now, doesn’t matter. I think you’re late,” George points out the fact that the girl is not to be spotted at the bar anymore. 

“You can’t really expect a person to be waiting outside the door forever if nobody’s answering, can you?” 

“I guess _she_ will, in fact, _not_ be loved,” George adds a salty comment. 

“But you have her phone number,” Gigi reminds Amy, while seems to be the only person at the table who’s encouraging instead of just giving her a lecture, “text her. How drunk was she? Maybe remind her it happened, she might not remember.”

“Yes. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna text her,” Amy grabs her phone and before Amy knows it, her friends are onto the next thing from their lives. 

But as Amy starts typing the text, she realizes she doesn’t know the girl’s name but knows more about her life than about most of the people she works with on a daily basis.


	2. ... and she stays.

Amy smiles when she sees Hope approach. It’s the first time they’re meeting since the drunk encounter at the bar four days ago. 

She thought she was over it, but the second she spots Amy by the bus station, Hope can’t help but feel embarrassment creeping over her. It’s one thing talking to somebody over text messages and a whole other thing is having to face them for the first time. It always is. But having them meet you while you’re drunk (and you even yell at them, because you think they’re your ex) makes you start not from zero but a minus hundred points. But Amy’s smiling when she notices her. _That’s good, right?_

A cheerfully sounding greeting is interrupted by Amy’s phone going off. Amy panics, because it is not the right time for anybody to be calling her. The worst of it is that it’s her work phone that’s ringing. _Why haven’t I left it at home?_ Before even answering, she just knows it’s not going to leave a good impression. 

“This is work, I’m sorry. It’ll only take a minute,” Amy looks at Hope with guilt in her eyes. But Hope understands, she doesn’t mind. Though when she peeks at Amy’s phone, that’s now in the girl’s hand, and she’s able to read the name _Em_ , Hope wonders who that might be. What does this Em look like? Is she pretty? Has there been a relationship other than a purely working one? 

Amy takes a tiny step away from Hope. “What’s up?” Amy asks. A whispering voice on the other end tells her words she prayed she wouldn’t have to hear, at least not tonight. “I need you at the studio, _right now_.” Amy’s heart drops, she glances at Hope, who’s tiptoeing, probably pretending she doesn’t mind, but Amy’s sure she probably wishes to leave. “It’s my night off, Em. I can’t.” But Em says with despair in his voice, “we have a situation with the artist, you _have to_ come down.” But Amy doesn’t back away either, “I’ve _just_ met up with somebody. I can’t call it off now, what’s wrong with you?” 

Hope is getting a little nervous. Maybe this has not been a good idea. The phone call is only confirming what Amy’s been telling her all this time; she’s too busy to be going on dates or being in a relationship. On another note though, she’s trying to make it happen, they are out on a date right now, so it could indicate that Amy _is_ interested. Amy finally hangs up and turns to her, with a sour grin. 

“Listen,” she starts, but before she could even pin her questions, Hope interrupts her, which takes Amy by surprise, because what she says makes Amy want to cry; she can only let herself scream on the inside though. “We can reschedule, I can tell you have to leave. Let’s pick another day, whenever you’ll be free.” But she is not letting the evening get ruined, so she intervenes, for it’s starting to sound as if Hope was breaking up with her although they’re not even in a relationship.

Hope is surprised when Amy offers for her to accompany her to the studio. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to go with you?” Hope asks. “Yes, definitely. We’ll go see what the issue is, I’m sure it gets resolved quickly. After that, I can show you around if you want me to.”

When they get to the studio, Amy gives Hope a badge with ‘visitor’ written on it. They take an elevator, Amy’s having more conversation in her head with herself than with Hope, which she knows makes it awkward. But what is she supposed to say? I know I’m already blowing my chances, but maybe if you see what a nuthouse my workplace is, you’ll be more understanding.

Hope can sense there is something up with this whole situation she’s found herself in. Amy seems to be nervous, she hasn’t said anything since they left the cab. But Hope doesn’t perceive the silence of each other’s company as a bad thing. She can tell Amy feels bad about it, but at the same time, she must be more nervous about what has happened that she has to so urgently return to work. There’s a guy standing by the elevator when the doors open and he immediately lets out a frustrated, “finally.” Amy strikes back right away, “you chose _the_ worst time of the day. Sorry that I couldn’t fly here from the other end of the city.” The name Amy calls him catches Hope’s attention. 

“This is Hope, my date, uh... Emmet, is him, yeah,” Amy’s cheeks start burning, her whole face actually does, even more so when she looks at Hope. “We don’t have time for this right now,” he’s got quite the unsparing attitude, which Amy takes especially to her heart since his rudeness is directed at Hope. “Are you going to be this obnoxious the whole time?” 

Unlike Amy, Hope doesn’t take any of what Emmet says to heart, but Amy being all defensive flatters her. As they walk to a room at the end of the hall, Hope listens in on the conversation about some artist, who’s changed their mind about a part in a song Amy’s wrote for them. Hope senses Amy’s exasperation. On the other hand, Emmet is doing his best at putting whatever pressure it is that’s weighing on him and thus onto Amy. They enter a room. There is no window, but a big couch, with two people sitting on it is right opposite from the door. Hope feels everyone is looking at her, she feels a little uncomfortable. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come here. She wants to call Amy aside and tell her she’d rather go home, because she for sure does not feel comfortable sitting around with strangers, listening to conversations she doesn’t understand. But the atmosphere is too tense and Hope is concerned this is the right time to talk to Amy.

“What’s going on? Why do I have to be here instead of watching the new Halloween movie?” Amy tries to be funny, but her humor only pushes the knife deeper into the tension that’s filled the room. Bia, sitting on the chair by the mixing console, explains to Amy the reason for the need of her presence, “we need to make a few changes.” They tell her that the artist, who was supposed to record the song Amy finished writing the day before, wishes for there to be some changes made. When Amy asks what changes they are talking about, they tell her that, “he wants certain words to be in the song.” Amy takes a deep breath, “when I finished the song, I sent it to him. Within two minutes, I got a call, and he tells me he loves it _and_ me. I’d love to know what happened in that short time between the call and him coming here to record it.”

Hope is just as annoyed at the answer, that the artist had a spiritual awakening, which has resulted in him wanting the words like prophecy, salvation, and involution incorporated into the song. But it seems like they are not leaving Amy any other choice. Hope is sure Amy turns to her any moment now, telling her she’s sorry, but she thinks Hope should go home. That she would call soon. _Soon_. And so Amy does turn to her in a few moments, right after she agrees to work on the song, for it is crucial it’s finished by the morning. Everyone leaves to get coffee, they even ask Hope if she wants any.

Amy waits until everyone is gone and turns to Hope, who’s standing there, looking so lost. And how the hell would she not be? Amy feels awful for putting her into such a position. “I’m sorry about this whole thing. It’s a mess. I totally understand if you want to go home, but, um, I was hoping you’d stay.” Amy doesn’t know if 

“I don’t know, they seemed like they’re not that okay with strangers being here.”

“Oh no, they- I’m the only one who’s actually writing the song. They go in and out of here, but only to keep me company. But I wouldn’t mind you being my company for a change. We could order food.” 

Hope doesn’t know what to say. She’s sure she doesn’t want to just go home and be sad about how the evening went. And if Amy really wants her there, it must mean something. _It must._ “Okay.”

Amy’s face lights up with a wide smile, “really? You’ll stay?” Hope smiles back and when their eyes meet, Amy feels like she could jump up and down, but she holds herself back. “Do you, can I bring you something to drink. Um, water, coffee, something more strong?”

Hope squints her eyes, gives Amy a suspicious look, “you have a bar here or what?” 

“No, only a secret mini-fridge.” 

“I think I’m good for now. Maybe later.”

“Okay. I have to excuse myself for a minute though, I need to talk to Skyler. She manages the studio’s schedules. I’ll be right back. You, get comfortable on the couch or look around. Just don’t really touch anything. _Oh_ or you can have a look at this wretch of a song, maybe try to figure out where the word ‘involution’ could fit anywhere in there,” Amy hands Hope a piece of paper with the lyrics on it, which she takes with a smile. Hope would lie if she said she isn’t interested in what songs Amy writes. As long as she is concerned, writing does reflect one’s mind. But who knows, maybe she’s wrong. Nevertheless, she’s glad she’s stayed. 

Amy runs down the hall, almost knocks down Skyler’s door, who’s on the phone and isn’t pleased about Amy storming in. Finishing the call abruptly, Skyler gives Amy an enraged look. “How about you knock next time?”

Amy furrows her brows, “why are you so mean?” 

Skyler completely ignores Amy’s question, “what is it Amy?” 

Still, a little surprised by Skyler’s attitude, Amy wants to get back to Hope as soon as possible, so she gets to why she’d made a visit in the first place, “just came to ask what time does Luca come in to record the song.”

“He was here in the morning.”

“I know. But Luca wants the song changed. I want to know when exactly he is coming tomorrow.”

“What do you mean- hold up, nobody’s told me about this,” Skyler hops back into her seat, behind her laptop. She makes a few clicks, then says, “all the booths are booked, up until Friday.”

“What?!” Amy feels rage coming over her, “so, I’ve ruined my date for nothing?” 

“You had a date?” Skyler asks innocently, but Amy knows her words might’ve touched upon a bruised spot, which is reflected in Skyler’s expression. 

“I had… I mean, I do. Uh, I even dragged her with me. I thought… why does everything have to blow up in my face?” 

“It’s still isn’t that late. I’m sure you’ll think of something. You always do.”

“I don’t know.”

“Or just stay here. Show her how the booth works. 3B9 is empty. Don’t let it ruin your evening.” 

“And maybe I can work on the song, save myself some time,” Amy sighs. Then when she feels like it’s starting to become a little awkward, because neither of them says anything, she says goodbye. “Oh, and could you text me the info when Joana sets the date and time for Luca’s recording?” 

“Of course.”

When Amy gets back, she finds Hope sitting on the couch. She senses what a humming might be, but it goes quiet the second she swings the door open. “I have to disappoint you, because I see no way any of those wished words would fit into a song about a wasted weekend.”

“Welcome to my world.” They both laugh it off, then Amy turns to Hope with the truth she’s found out, “I have some bad news though.”

Hope’s heart skips a beat. What might it even be? Is she not allowed to be there after all? Does she have to leave? Amy’s rant doesn’t even let her cut in, to start apologizing for whatever and say that of course, she’ll leave, she doesn’t want to be a burden. “I’ve found out that the artist won’t be coming to record the song at least until friday. Which means I have a little more time than a few hours. But if you wanted to, we could stay here, play with the song, just have fun. And if you were really up to it, you could even go into the booth. Could be a fun experience. But if this sounds too boring, I won’t hold you back from going home. Although, I will be sad and disappointed.” Amy gives her what seems to be a pair of puppy eyes. She really wants to, but Hope doesn’t want to smile too big. She’s just too embarrassed about showing too much excitement, for she knows it’s usually too much for the people around her. And Amy is the last person she wants to annoy or scare off, even.

Amy wants to burst from happiness, when Hope says she’d stay. “But only because I’d hate to think you’re sad because of me.” She smiles, recognizes the cunning in Hope’s voice, but Amy likes to think there could be more meaning attached to those words. And not only those. For the glances they share carry on an endless conversation too difficult to grasp. There is nothing to be perceived, only sensed. And that’s what Amy wants to do. _To feel_.


	3. they feel the same way

Hope lets herself fall into the cushions, she’s sure if she keeps her eyes closed for longer than two seconds, she’ll fall asleep immediately. But the moment she’s about to do so, somebody starts unlocking the door, soon, she hears a surprised “hello,” from Nick. All she can do is wave her hand at him.

He sits down next to her, “long night, huh?” He asks coyly. 

“Mhmm. You went,” she starts her question, but a yawn interrupts her mid-sentence, then she adds, “for a run?”

“Yeah. I knocked on your door, last week you said you’d come with me the next time I go.”

“Sorry. I’ll come next time.”

“Sure, sure. The date went well, huh?”

“Alright. It was fun. Just, tiring.”

“How was her place?” 

“I… why would you ask that?” 

“You always complain about it when you go out with somebody and happen to end up spending the night at their place.”

“I didn’t spend the night at her place.”

“The rating’s still pending then, okay.”

They both hear steps coming from behind their back, then hear the bathroom door being shut. They share a look, then Nick asks her, “so you’re not going to tell me more about your date?” 

“What do you want to know?” Hope pins a question back. 

“Name, what she does, how she was. I don’t know. Will there be a second date?” 

“There will be. Tonight.”

“Aren’t you working tonight?” 

“I switched shifts.”

“So, two nights in a row? I will need to step up my game or else I’ll have to watch you steal my crown,” Nick smirks, which makes Hope smack his arm. 

“It’s not like that. I’m actually helping her, okay?” 

“You do realize you have not disclosed anything about her or the date, right? I have like seventy-two versions as to who she is, what she does, _and_ what you’re helping her with.” This makes Hope smack him again but harder, “ _hey_ , that’s not fair. For all I know, you two could be folding balloon animals at the train station, while singing along to some song that plays on her dad’s old boombox.”

This makes Hope giggle, “her dad’s old boombox?”

The very second she says that Jared appears in the doorway, “whose dad’s old boombox? Also, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me yesterday.”

He sits next to Nick and starts telling his story from the day before. For some reason, the conversation led by their sleepy voices, which is perfectly contrasted by the silence of the morning, has lured her weariness away. 

“I was out with Vale, we went into this _fancy_ , luxurious shop, where they offer you coffee _and_ champagne. And you don’t even need to open the door, there’s a butler who opens it for you. Like, literally a butler, I asked him if he really was one. Anyway, Vale was just going through it and she told me to look for anything light caramel. I did that and out of the blue, this stranger bumps into me and I barely even turned around, but her voice. Uh, guys, she was so loud. And she was yelling and yelling and yelling. Apparently, coffee got spilled on her dress. She kept yelling how it’s my fault. But I swear on my high school buddy’s, Jamie’s life, that it wasn't my fault. _She_ bumped into me. I was standing still. Eventually, she stopped yelling, then stormed away. But the rest of the shopping was _embarrassing_.”

Without even making an effort to seem interested in his story, Nick brags on behalf of Hope about her upcoming second date with Amy, “she was out all night _and_ she’s going out again tonight,” then after a short pause, before Jared can say anything, he adds, “and I’ve asked Riley out. I have a date tonight as well, thank you very much.”

Jared gasps, his face lights up immediately, “she said yes? Congrats. Oh and,” he reaches into his pocket and hands Nick a twenty-dollar bill.

Hope raises her brows, exclaims, “if that money has anything to do with Nick asking Riley out, you two better start packing your bags, I’m getting new roommates.”

Jared asks thoughtfully, “does it count if the bet was placed _after_ he told me about his plan to ask her out?” 

Without commenting the answer she wished didn’t leave his mouth, instead, Hope looks at Nick, “I can’t believe I let you bring him here.”

The last ounce of her strength Hope uses to stand up and walk into her room. Besides the paradoxical occurrence of not being able to fall asleep when one is really sleepy, the other thing keeping her up is a feeling of excitement. That of knowing she’ll see Amy in the evening. 

On the other, far end of the city, getting back home Amy is able to sneak in without being noticed by her roommates. Gratefulness to them not being early birds and also having jobs that expect them to wake up at ungodly hours. The chills she usually gets when she’s too tired are becoming too overwhelming, making it feel like she’s walking nude across the icy Antarctica. Still, she’s experiencing trouble falling asleep. It’s silly because this whole thing with Hope feels… unreal. Too simple for Amy’s taste. Not in a bad way, just, too easy and good for there not to be a thing that is hiding nearby, ready to jump out at the right moment. Maybe, maybe not. Or Amy just needs to accept that these things do happen, that they happen without any negative interference. 

Sweet dreaming doesn’t last too long, Amy opens her eyes to Molly and George being all over her and her bed. 

Molly keeps repeating her name, whispering it really close to her face. Amy finally speaks up, “go away.”

“You won’t believe what happened to me. Some loose-pants and tiger print jacket-wearing guy bumped into me at the store and I got coffee all over my dress.”

“I don’t care.”

“How was the date?”

“Let me sleep,” Amy lets out an angry puff and turns her back to her friends, hides her face under the covers. 

“Somebody looks tired. Was your night… too long?”

Amy knows her friends are not going to leave until she feeds them something, so, frustrated, but still, she turns back to them, “dude, of course I’m tired. I came back in the morning and I need some sleep or I’m going to be cranky all day.”

“Sweetie, we don’t care about you, we want to know about _her_.”

Amy sighs, grabs her phone, and searches for the photo she took of Hope while they were goofing around in the studio booth, “her name’s Hope, here’s a picture of her. You happy?” She shoves her phone into their faces. 

Molly gives Amy a displeased look, “you took her to the studio? Did she just watch you work? Poor girl.”

“No, there was an emergency, I had to go in. I took her with me and it ended up being a really fun night.” 

“Are you sure she had fun?”

Amy rolls her eyes, “I’m done talking. Good night.”

When the two of them step outside Amy’s room, they share a look _and_ the same thought, “should we?” Molly asks.

“Definitely.”

*

Amy is second-guessing whether bringing Hope to the studio again is a good decision. Maybe the girl is just too nice to say anything, and really she doesn’t at all want to spend another night with Amy there. Perhaps Amy should’ve suggested they do something else. But then, Amy kind of _needs_ to be at the studio, so had she suggested something different, she wouldn’t have been able to make it sooner than next week or so. And, Hope did sort of seem like she had fun the previous night. Why would she be faking anything anyway? 

When Hope arrives, she wraps Amy into a tight hug. A second later, she starts questioning her action, unsure if it’s appropriate at all. Maybe Amy isn’t even comfortable with receiving hugs. All her concerns are torn down, when she feels Amy’s arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. 

Amy catches herself smiling the whole time they‘re walking to the studio, as she listens to Hope’s story about a birthday party she went to a few weeks back. It’s not even that funny or a story that wouldn’t happen to somebody else. Plus, now Amy feels like she has to tell a story too. And she doesn’t really have one. So she gets stuck on a deserted island, where there are no thoughts she could use. This, of course, stresses her out, because she thinks it’s going to be weird if she doesn’t say anything at all. Which makes her want to tell Hope that this was a bad idea and that she’d rather do the songwriting alone. Why does she even feel so stressed out, anyway? Maybe it’s the fact that Hope is not how she imagined her to be. Of course, nothing has changed since last night, that’s not it. But when she’s with Hope and when she thinks of the girl, it feels like two different people. And well, when somebody likes somebody whom they don’t know that well yet, it usually is the case. The problem is, Amy feels like she likes the Hope that’s in her head a little more than the tall girl standing by her side.

As the evening goes on, Hope finds it a little exhausting. She wishes she was able to make things go faster, to see the future, to skip this part, where the parts being on a date go through this awful process of getting to know each other. Where all those meaningless questions go on and on. The worst thing is, she catches herself a few times not even paying attention to Amy’s answers. And it’s not because Hope doesn’t care, she just doesn’t know what to do with so much information all at once. It scares her because Amy seems so sweet and lovable and somebody she would be just so excited to be going home to. But on the other hand, she can’t stop comparing every little thing to the people she’s dated before. Or rather, that _one_ person. And even though Amy seems to be better in all of the aspects Hope is able to assess, comparing them still feels wrong and unfair to Amy. It’s something Hope thinks she might need to work on before getting into another relationship. 

After all the fun they have together, the laughing, the brainstorming of ideas, actually finishing the song, _and_ calling the artist (with Amy singing it to them on phone), the two of them sit down and open a deserved bottle of wine. They sit on the couch, each resting their back against the opposite end, with their feet meeting in the middle. They’re quiet until Hope can’t help but ask a soft, “what,” when she sees Amy start smiling after they’ve been looking into each other’s eyes, she concludes, for probably over five minutes. 

Amy shakes her head. 

“What is it?” Hope asks again, with her foot she nudges Amy’s. 

“Nothing. No, just,” Amy’s hesitant, but she doesn’t want to just let Hope go completely, “I don’t want to ruin the evening.”

“I don’t want you to ruin it either. But if there’s something on your mind, I’m all ears.”

“Okay, then. I… no, I can’t. This is going to be awkward.”

“It doesn’t matter what you want to say, you’re already making it awkward.”

“I am?”

Hope has to smile at the level of despair in Amy’s voice, “a little. But I also have something on my mind. What if we both said it out loud at the same time?”

Amy squints her eyes, “are you just trying to trick me into saying what I want to say?” 

“No, for real,” Hope places her right hand to her heart. Amy agrees to Hope's suggestion to speak in unison. 

And so they both in unison, say the exact same words, “we should just be friends,” and when they both realize this, they burst into laughter. 

“I cannot,” Hope tries to catch her breath.

They’re both relieved about the situation.

Amy takes a few deep breaths and wipes the tears of joy from her eyes, “let me just say, I, uh, I really think you’re so amazing and I’d be genuinely sad if I didn't have a friend like you in my life. Sure, we don’t know each other for long, but still. And this whole time I’ve been so nervous that I’d say something stupid and you’d never talk to me again. And it’s, it’s not worth it…. losing you, I mean.”

“Yeah, I feel exactly the same way.”


	4. Climbing, contemplating, competing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, the update took a little longer than I'd initially planned. The main reason is that I had two chapters written and ready to post, then I've decided to go a bit different direction. 
> 
> I also hope you guys are okay, wherever you are in the world. Be safe.

“I’ve never tried indoor climbing," Gigi notes as she looks around the place, "do you think it’s similar to climbing the Canadian Rockies?” 

“Which mount?”

“All of them,” she answers with a deadpan look, then elaborates, “with my dad, except North Twin Peak. I went there with my cousin Arwan. I was fourteen and I don’t remember much of it. But I’ve never climbed a mountain since. I’m scared if I do, another person gets left behind.”

“What?” Amy asks, frightened. 

“Arwan disappeared. I had to descend by myself.”

“Did they ever find him?”

“No... But I think it was nice of Hope that she’s invited all of us.”

“Yeah,” Amy nods her head but is still processing yet another unexpected story coming from Gigi. 

“Agreed. We can’t _wait_ to meet her.”

“No need for that tone, Molls.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve told you before and I’m telling you again - it’s not weird that somebody doesn’t use any social media,” Amy defends Hope. As she’s found out, Molly and George had done some digging, trying to find out more about Hope, but had barely found anything. 

George takes Molly’s side, “it _is_ a little sketchy.”

“A lot less than you two stalking her behind my back.”

“We wanted to include you. It’s you who didn’t want to see her yearbook picture.”

“You shouldn’t have gone looking in the first place.”

Their conversation is interrupted by an approaching Hope. She goes in for a hug, after which George leans to Gigi and whispers into her ear, “I’ve counted six Mississippies.”

Gigi pouts her mouth, nods, “same,” she retorts and the two of them share a look, George pushed his glasses a little up his nose. 

“This is Molly, Gigi, and George.”

Hope waves a hand, ”it’s nice meeting you. Nick is already here, so… we should gear up and go find him.”

Amy thanks Hope for inviting them and asks her how she’s been since they haven’t talked the past few days. It is mainly Amy’s fault. She feels like she should apologize, because she doesn’t want Hope to think that this is what being her friend is like, but she would be lying if she said it isn’t difficult to reach her sometimes. “I’m sorry for being MIA… I don’t think I have an excuse, it’s mostly work.” 

Hope is a little surprised about Amy’s apology. “Sleeping at the studio again?” She asks, but the answer comes from Molly, not Amy, “she hasn’t been home since Tuesday.” It makes Hope kind of wonder why. How does Amy even function, how is she able to work all the time? And when Hope was there with her, she can tell she likes to isolate herself. Isn’t it a bit lonely then? And everyone seemed like a ghost hanging around.

“I have been. You just weren’t at home.”

“How convenient... that’s all Amy though,” Molly says directly to Hope, “keeping disheartenment within reach,” she adds a little snidely.

“I like it there, okay? You’ve been there. It’s nice, right?” Amy asks for backup from Hope.

“I think I’d be sad after a day or two,” she makes it sound like she doesn’t care.

“Wait, so you didn’t like it there?” Amy asks as if she’s been lied to. Has Hope been faking it while they were there? Amy stops walking, expects Hope to do so as well, so they can talk about it. 

Hope immediately notices Amy’s not walking by her side, she turns around to face her, “I did and it was nice. I just meant that if _I_ was the one working there, it would take a really short period of time for me to feel lonely.” 

Amy becomes heated and defensive pretty quickly, “I’m not lonely.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Hope agrees.

“There’s always somebody around. You saw.”

“Sure, but doesn't everyone go home eventually?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes there’s somebody to keep me company at night too.”

“ _O_ -kay,” Hope doesn’t feel like she can hold the conversation any longer. Amy’s tone sounds irritated and defensive, which Hope doesn’t understand because she is being nothing but sincere.

“I can always find somebody to keep me company while I work, be it day or night.”

For a second, Hope feels like Amy’s just busted her own self. Like, was Hope one of the many people who’ve just _accompanied_ Amy? Is _that_ the reason why Amy wanted to stay only friends? Would’ve Hope been one too many options to choose from? Or is she simply _not_ Amy’s type for that sort of distraction? This makes Hope wonder, just how many ‘friends’ are there who didn’t fit the shoe? 

“I’m not trying to pick a fight, okay?” Hope is uncomfortable in the situation. She doesn’t want to argue with Amy in front of her friends. And what is there to argue about anyway? But there is a pinch of disappointment as well, for Hope feels like being able to express one’s opinion or standpoint about things in life should be natural between friends. And if she has said something that hit too close to home, the least Amy can do is warn her about it. They don’t know each other that well for them to know what is too delicate to talk about for the other. And even if she’s said something insensitive, she’s sure Amy’s friends would have already jumped her. And by the look on their faces, they’re just as surprised by Amy’s attitude as she is. 

“Yeah, me neither,” Amy fakes a smile, but her forced charm is not convincing. Is she the problem? Is it wrong if she doesn’t want Hope all up in her business? They didn’t work out, but that doesn’t give Hope permission to make assumptions about her, whether about her as a person or how she lives her life. It also doesn’t justify Hope wanting to know everything about her all of a sudden. Amy’s not obliged to tell her what, when, _whom_ she does. 

Hope doesn’t insist on having the last word, she just smiles and thinks that maybe the whole _‘staying friends’_ thing wasn’t a good idea… or perhaps it _was._

Amy watches Hope walk ahead, approach a guy. They hug. 

“You know, we’ve been friends forever. But what I’ve just witnessed, Amy, what the fuck is wrong with you? She’s so nice and you fucking trip her the first chance you get?”

“ _Disheartenment?_ What was that supposed to mean?” 

“Uh-”

“It’s just… we, I barely know her.”

“Ames.”

“I’m not that comfortable with her knowing all sorts of personal things about me.” 

“Why not?”

“We’re strangers.”

“But isn’t that what you always do? Rant to strangers?” 

This is the point where Amy realizes Molly gave her a checkmate. “I- this is different, okay? I don’t want her to know I’m a fucking loser right away.” 

Molly sighs, “you can be reticent without treating people like crap. Don’t give _her_ a hard time only because you have things to cope with. And she doesn’t really have to ask you questions to figure out you use work as a donjon. I just don’t understand why if nobody is even attacking your castle.”

Molly doesn’t wait for a response or reaction from her friend. Momentarily thoughts on this are irrelevant in her opinion because this is something a person needs to actually think about. 

Amy watches all her friends chatting, having their gear adjusted a little more. All while Nick must be telling them about each of the conquering walls, which feel a little entrapping at the moment for Amy. Leaving would seem too rude. It's not like she _wants_ to leave, but that seems to be the easiest solution. When she looks at Hope, the girl doesn’t really seem to have taken anything to heart. Amy knows exactly well what Molly’s meant. Yet, she’s having a hard time figuring everything out. On top of that Amy feels some sort of pressure to do so as soon as possible now that Hope is a part of her life. But why? Why does she all of a sudden feel so confused as to whom she is and who she wants to be? Why does the thought of Hope thinking she’s a pathetic person even bother her? Maybe Hope doesn’t even think that. Maybe that has never run through her mind at all. But it wouldn’t really be Amy if she didn't project her perception of her own self onto others. 

When finally Amy joins the group, Hope introduces her to Nick, who asks her if she has any experience with climbing. “A little.” 

“Alright, let’s see. We have three people climbing, two belayers, so, I’ll go get somebody who can be our third belayer.”

“I can do it,” Gigi tells about her climbing experience.

“I’d love to hear more about it. But it’s company regulation that only certified belayers can secure climbers. I’ll be right back.”

They wait for Nick who runs to the little stand where they got their gear. 

“You good?” Hope steps to Amy, who nods her head, she smiles at the taller one. She wants to say something, but she doesn’t know if it’s the right time and place to start _that_ conversation.

“Are _we_?” Amy asks back shyly. 

Hope shrugs, “I guess.”

“I,” before Amy even gets the chance to explain herself, Nick returns with some guy by his side. He introduces him as Luis, his co-worker. Everything moves so fast, Amy soon finds herself facing the wall, reaching her hand for a grip almost next to her face.

Hope watches Amy and her friends dominate the beginner’s wall as if they’ve been doing this every weekend. They all get into it pretty quickly and easily, so they move onto a wall that’s more difficult. But before any fun could continue, they hear an unexpected, “no fucking way,” from Molly, who’s looking at the entry. Or rather, a person who’s approaching them. “Why is he waving at us? Why is he walking over here?”

“That’s Jared. I invited him.”

“Why?” Molly angrily looks at Nick. “He’s our friend,” Nick says innocently. Nor he or the others understand Molly’s rage. Then when Jared finally comes close enough to read all the facial expressions, which say nothing but confusion, _and_ when he finally hears Molly freaking out, also realizing he’s seen her before, he lets out an “oh, no.”

“He’s the guy! _He_ spilled coffee on my dress the other day,” Molly finally explains, to which a unison _oh_ comes as a response. 

Everyone witnesses the two of them split into a game of whodunit, where both blame the other. It goes on for a while. More and more invectives get involved and when both start giving insults seasoned with objectifying caricaturism the people around them, who are trying to enjoy their time, start paying them the attention of half an ear. Hope is the first to try and step in before it would escalate even more, “you two better take this outside or figure out a more creative way to sort this thing out.”

Amy gets an idea, which makes her turn to Jared, “can you climb?”

“Of course.”

“Then why don’t you guys compete against each other? See who’s better? Whoever reaches the top first wins the argument and has to compensate the other?” 

Molly shouts, “ _yes!_ We’re settling this with a race.” 

Jared agrees. While they wait for him to quickly go get his gear, Amy walks up to Hope, who’s looking at the opposite wall, watching one of the climbers who’s almost at the top. “You’re sweet.”

“Huh?” She looks down at Amy. 

“Look, I have to apologize to you. I wasn’t nice earlier. I was an ass, actually. You were right. It gets lonely. And… the truth is, when I think about this I get physically ill. When you said how _you’d_ feel all lonely, all my alarms went off as if I was being mocked, even threatened. As if you were holding a mirror right up in my face. It was unfair of me to see you as an enemy. I’m sorry.” Relief settles over Amy’s heart, though she doesn’t understand how she was able to say all of that out loud. Perhaps because she was imagining the imaginary Hope while talking. That Hope is somebody whom Amy can confide in. About anything.

Hope smiles. She didn’t actually think Amy would apologize. Still, even with the apology, she doesn’t yet know what to think of it all. Now is not the best time to spend thinking about what Amy’s behavior might tell about her. Hope wants to have fun. 

With Nick belaying Molly and Hope belaying Jared, George shouts, “ready, set, climb,” and the race starts. They both take the wall by storm, with Molly being just slightly faster. Once her feet touch the ground, she takes a triumphant bow. Everyone cheers for her and when Jared hits the ground as well, he steps to her and apologizes. “You’re still an ass,” Molly says and despite throwing a condescending look at him, she accepts his apology. 

They take turns, everyone gets to reach the top of the wall. The PA then announces that Luis is being looked for by the manager, so he has to leave.

“We could take five. Cool down, drink something, have a snack,” Nick suggests and leads them through a narrow hall into a smaller room, something like a cafe. There are booths with enough sitting space for them all to sit together. Amy has Hope right across from her. Whenever she looks there, Hope reciprocates the gaze. 

Hope grows a little shy whenever her attention is drawn to Amy sitting right opposite from her. It’s getting awkward how every time her eyes happen to wander to Amy, the girl looks at her too, making their eyes lock. And her mind, despite not being up to it, wanders to Amy. she asks herself why. She has to know how to rationalize it. Deep down she already knows. She knows all the answers to questions she’s not even asked herself. Why… why do her cheeks start burning their eyes meet? But she’s never claimed she isn’t at all attracted to Amy. Sure she is. A little… eh, okay, a lot. But then, Hope finds a lot of her friends attractive. _Yeah_. There is nothing wrong with admitting this fact. It’s okay to admit your attractions… to yourself. It’s important actually. Sike, maybe this is what Hope needs for her to start treating Amy like an actual friend. There needs to be some sort of line, something where one can see one chapter has ended and another starts. Because up until four days ago, their intentions were different. They were expecting something more romantic coming out of their dates. From now on, whenever they meet they’re going to be one step closer to becoming friends… just friends. The question is, how much does Hope want to befriend Amy. It’s not as if Hope had too many friends, but she also doesn’t have too few. She just wonders which friend Amy is going to be. The friend she texts constantly with but they only hang out twice a year? Or the friend with whom she spends every other day? Frankly, Hope has never had that kind of friend, so that is an open stop. Or the friend whom she’d hang out with, but the second they meet up, she’d become too annoyed and would feel too much joy as soon as she’s not with them anymore? Why can’t Hope just _know_ which friend Amy is? All of her frustration and eagerness to know this stems from the fact that the girl seems to be so much work. Even thinking about it is exhausting. Cluelessness makes the view murky. Because what if Hope puts effort and energy into getting to know Amy better and then the girl turns out to be somebody Hope doesn’t actually want to be friends with?

Amy can’t stop thinking about the evening she met Hope and how she’s turned out to be nothing Amy’s expected. Maybe once she lets that imaginary person go, she’ll be able to let Hope closer as a friend. Because right now Hope is ruining that perfect image with every thought she expresses and Amy doesn’t like that. She just isn’t sure how to do this. Is it by not seeing Hope for a while or on contrary, by spending more time with her? What is the best way to erase a whole picture of a person? How does a short conversation even plant and make up a whole person in one’s head? Why does this keep happening to Amy? She can’t remember one person she hasn’t done this with. Weirdly, it’s almost always the same soul, only in a different body. Then come the disappointment and ghosting. But then, she hasn’t ghosted Hope… yet. She might. Well, if she really befriends the girl, it will be a little weird. Or maybe not. Not all relationships, whether it be romantic or a friendship, have to work out and that’s okay.

Suddenly, Amy feels somebody’s kicked her leg, strong enough for her to know it wasn’t by accident. When she looks to her right, she sees Molly all wide-eyed. She answers with a shrug and confused scowl. Molly leans closer and whispers, “look at the table across.”

“Where?”

“Over Nick’s shoulder.”

“Wha- _oh_ ,” even across the room, in dim lights, Amy recognizes Riley. She looks at Molly, who seems to be alarmed. She starts subtly covering her face with her hand, pretending as if she had a headache. Gigi nudges Molly, questioningly nods at Amy, requesting to be involved in whatever is going on. Molly whispers her something, the girl gazes at Riley's direction, and finally, mouths an “oh, no,” to Amy. She’s ready to help a desperate friend out, so she calls out, “let’s go back. I want to see another race. Amy? Hope? George?” 

“Actually,” Nick speaks up, stopping them from leaving just yet, “I’ve invited this friend of mine, I hope you don’t mind. She’ll be here in just a second, uh,” Nick looks around the room, “oh, wait, she’s over there, I’ll be right back.”

Amy wants to slip under the table and live the rest of her life there when she sees Nick walking up to Riley. She looks at Molly in despair. “It doesn’t mean that’s _the_ friend. _The_ friend might be somebody else from that table. There’s a lot of people. Coincidences happen,” Molly keeps calming Amy down, but it’s all for nothing because Amy’s fear proves to be reality - Riley _is_ the friend whom Nick invited to hang out with them. The second she sees Riley walking over to their table is the second Amy wants to stand up and run away. Just sprint out of the room, the complex, the world. 

“This is Riley.” 

“Hi,” her eyes scan the whole booth, and once getting to Amy, she adds a personalized greeting, “oh, hey Amy.”

“Sup?” Amy avoids eye contact, instead, she seeks refuge in Hope’s eyes which radiate the kind of support Amy needs right now. Hope either hasn’t noticed Amy is acting weird, Amy’s doing too good of a job not to seem weird, Hope simply doesn’t care, or she’s noticed and is consciously lending a helping look. 

A few words are said, a few looks are exchanged, then finally they agree to go back to climbing. As they’re walking back, Hope makes sure she’s near Amy, they walk side by side. It’s obvious she and Riley have a history. 

Amy’s too embarrassed to say anything to Hope. What is she even supposed to say?

When they get to a wall they haven’t climbed yet, Hope starts adjusting her harness. She senses somebody stepping next to her. When she looks up she realizes she’s standing face to face with Riley. “Hey.”

“Hey?” 

“Has Nick said anything about me?”

“Not really. Only that you went on a date.”

“Cool… uh, I did hear something about you though.”

“Me?” Hope gives her a puzzled look. She’s having a bad feeling about Riley and what she has to say. 

“Yeah, I just thought I’d give you a heads up. Be careful with Amy.” 

Hope doesn’t like where the conversation is going. “Why?” 

“She might sleep with your best friend and then break up with you over a text. Or not. Just be careful.”

Hope feels like she was slapped… Well, technically, it was a slap, only a verbal one. But it hurts just as bad as a proper one. What a _slander_. While still in shock, she hears Amy call out to her. “Are you ready to get your ass kicked?” But without any consideration, she turns Amy down, “actually, I’d rather go against Riley first.”


	5. "Look at her embracing that lamppost"

With each grip she’s closer to the top. She’s not even competitive - why is her heart beating so fast? Her mind is numbed by the adrenaline. Only two images keep flashing in front of her - one of her shouting at Riley and the other is that of Amy. She’s back in that moment when Riley tells her that nasty line about Amy, but Hope doesn’t let her walk away, she’s not taken aback, no. She shouts a loud “fuck you” in her face. And Amy. Amy’s just there. Standing somewhere. It’s not a place Hope’s familiar with. And she goes and wraps Amy in her arms and tells her… _Oh,_ Hope realizes she’s a step away from the top. Loud cheers respond to her taping the ceiling. 

Slowly, she descends. Riley follows. “That was awesome. Congrats,” she offers her hand. Hope scoffs and instead of a hand, she gives the girl a sarcastic smile with a soft head shake. 

Gigi looks at George, who looks back at her and mouths, “I love her,” expressing his admiration of Hope. To break the awkwardness, Gigi throws her arm around Amy’s shoulders, “do you want to go against the winner?” 

“Somebody's gotta wipe that smug smile off of her face,” Amy says just loud enough for Hope to hear it. 

“Are you sure about this?” Hope teases the girl about the two of them going against each other. 

“Are you doubting my skills?” 

“Not your skills in particular. It’s just… you’re pretty tiny.”

Amy smiles, “uh, I think I’m average. You’re too tall - the distortion of the view is on your side.”

“If you ask me, I think it’s nice to be able to reach higher than the kitchen sink.”

Before they get to it, Louis asks if he’ll still be needed since Riley is present, who’s worked there, so she could help with the belay. Hope’s mistrust makes her a little worried, since _she_ doesn’t want to be belayed by the girl, but she also doesn’t want for Amy to be belayed by Riley. Sure she wouldn’t do anything with so many people around, but she does know her way with the ropes. What if she does something that would look like an _‘accident.’_

She turns to Louis, “you should stay.”

But Nick negates her, “he can go. Riley can help.”

Hope snaps back quietly, “she doesn’t have to.”

“Can you give us a minute?” Nick excuses himself and Hope, and he asks her to walk aside, a little away from the group. “Hey uh, is everything okay? I can kind of tell there’s something off. You refused to shake Riley’s hand?”

“I know. Crazy, huh?” She starts shaking her head. 

“Why? What happened?”

“She’s vile.”

“What- you’ve just met her.”

“One short conversation was enough for me to be sure I don’t want to talk to her ever again.”

“Did she say something that upset you?” 

“Maybe.”

“Look, I just don’t want things to be weird when I invite her over.”

“ _Oh_ , yeah. I guess you won’t be inviting her over then.”

“That’s unfair... If you just told me what she’s said, I’m sure we could patch things up.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything, Nick, we’re not _that_ good friends.” Hope exhales wearily. “We’ll talk about this at home.”

Nick rolls his eyes, “Yo- no, Hope. You say this now, but you’ll make damn sure you avoid me until I forget about it. But I won’t, trust me,” he pauses, then adds, “did you call _her_ again? Is that why you’re acting up?”

Hope chuckles, “I’m not _acting up_. Your girlfriend is a bitch. You want to talk about it? Fine. I don’t want her in _my_ apartment. Re-remember? _My_ apartment, where you live and pay rent to _me_? _That_ is where I don’t want her to be.”

“You want me to move out?” There’s disappointment in Nick’s voice. 

“No. You’re actually pretty decent to live with. But that is a choice if you can’t accept that I don’t want your girlfriend coming over.” _Because my friend would be coming over, who’s your girlfriend’s ex, who told me some nasty things about said friend. And since it’s my apartment, I’m going to make decisions that are in my and my friend’s favor_ \- is what Hope wants to add, but doesn’t because she’s aware Nick would know she’s talking about Amy. Then he would twist this into saying Hope actually likes Amy and would be jealous if Amy was in the same room as Riley. She could spend hours explaining to Nick how that is not the case, but he wouldn't be listening anyway, because one of his bad habits is putting his own beliefs onto a pedestal and protecting them with a cloak of ignorance. 

Amy wonders what Hope and Nick are talking about, for a moment it looks like they’re arguing. But what about? Does it have anything to do with Hope challenging Riley? Right, what might’ve _that_ been about? Does Hope know Riley? Well, she probably does, Riley’s dating Nick. Maybe they hold Friday take-out nights at Hope’s place every week. _Oh no_ , what if Riley’s told Hope about Amy? That they dated? How their relationship was torn by riptides? Maybe not. Amy can’t imagine Hope would still be talking to her if Riley had said something. But still, why would Hope want to challenge Riley? And that condescending look she gave Riley. Something must have definitely happened. 

Louis stays, but so does Riley. Nevertheless, Hope shifts her focus to the wall - and Amy. For a second, Hope takes into consideration the possibility of letting Amy win. With a really quick peek to her right she keeps assuring herself if Amy’s not caught up to her or that if the girl is perhaps struggling in any way. But the next thing Hope sees is Amy being not by much but higher than her. 

“Hope!”

“Are you cheating?” Hope sees Amy right up at the top. She looks down at their friends, “are you helping her? How is she even up there? She was just here!” She watches Amy tap the ceiling, then she descends to Hope’s level

“So? What’s my reward?” With a pleased smile and excitement shining from her eye, she teases Hope. 

“I’ll buy you a drink.”

“You can do better than that.”

“Two drinks?”

“I don’t really feel like drinking.” Amy keeps twitting her.

“It doesn’t have to be today.”

“Okay. I got it… you can cook me dinner. _Yeah_ ,” Amy announces and starts descending, eventually reaching the floor. 

Hope smiles to herself. For a fraction of a second Hope felt like… like... Amy was flirting? Not only what she’s suggested, but the way her voice sounded so soft. No, that’s not right. She was only being playful, exultant about winning the race, that’s all. Besides, cooking dinner for your friends is nothing unusual. Though, Hope hasn’t done that before, there’s never been an occasion like that. Nor has any of her friends suggested it. Well, now Amy had, of course. But maybe this is the friend Amy’s going to be. Cooking dinner for each other or even together. Then watching some silly movie while eating. Could be a sleepover even. 

*

“Is she there? Is she?” Amy keeps nagging Gigi as they enter the bar. 

“We haven’t even entered properly.”

“But is she here?”

“Amy, I don’t have an x-ray vision.”

“I’m going home,” Amy’s palms are sweating as if she’s just washed her hands and didn’t have anything to wipe them in. She doesn’t even know why she’s agreed to come, anyway. As if spending the afternoon with Riley present wasn’t enough. _Noooo_ , there’s also a perfectly good evening she can spend looking at her ex, while several other people sit around and pretend it’s not an awkward situation at all. Probably not… but, only because most of the table doesn’t know how their relationship went and how horribly it ended. At least that’s what Amy’s hoping for… oh yes, _Hope_. Well, at least one good thing. Amy’s as surprised as the next person (if the next person is either Gigi or George) about being excited to see Hope again. What is also baffling to Amy, is just how quickly she’s gone from _‘this girl is ruining the picture’_ to praying that the girl is there, the actual person, so she can look at her whenever she feels uncomfortable or scared because there is something so soothing in her eyes. Perhaps it’s a little selfish, perhaps not. Still, it seems like the road of getting to know the real person is much sweeter than Amy’s thought it would be. 

“Aaaand she’s not here,” Gigi finally lifts the weight off of Amy’s heart. 

She hears George whisper to Gigi, “but neither is Hope,” then looks across the room and sees that indeed, Hope is not there. Amy stays behind, she acts like she didn’t hear George and quickly excuses herself to go to the restroom. She’s not _devastated_ about the fact that Hope’s evidently decided not to join them, still, Amy feels a little… sad. She’s been looking forward to talking to her some more. Tease her about how she’s kicked her ass earlier. Maybe she could text her. Or call… tomorrow. Or some other day. Who knows when she’s free. Or a text wouldn’t hurt anybody. Amy’s sure she’ll text back when she gets the time. Ugh, maybe she should just ditch everyone and go home. Make up a lame excuse her friends won’t believe, but it will make them tolerate it just enough for Amy not to receive looks of reproach.

“ _Oh_ … hi.”

“Hey. You’re finally here. We thought you’d never come,” Hope smiles shyly and goes to wipe her hands. 

_Yeah, I thought you weren’t here. But you are and now I’m really happy but I don’t want to freak myself out, so I’ll bury that excitement deep inside, just like every other emotion which I don’t know how to handle._ “Yeah. I’ll just, uh,” Amy motions at the stalls. 

“I’ll save you a seat next to me.” 

*

Hope had no expectations for the evening. The last thing she expected was getting drunk, but she’s almost all the way there. Everyone is so eager to talk, Hope can’t make out one proper sentence, because everyone’s words keep tangling up in the air and all Hope’s getting is gibberish. All while Amy is damn silent, which makes her a little nervous. They’re sitting next to each other, perhaps she should initiate a conversation. But she wouldn’t really trust herself with talking right now, for her attention span has shrunk to mere two seconds. What if Amy asks her something but before she finishes the question Hope will have already forgotten the beginning of it? But doesn’t being quiet come off as rude? 

Suddenly, Hope realizes she’s being talked about. “What?”

“Nothing,” Nick smiles conceitedly, “I was just asking them to keep an eye on you. You know. Take your phone away before you make a call.”

“Why? Do you have a drunk buddy?” George asks Hope.

“She ends up calling Avery, her ex of four months,” Nick answers as if bragging on Hope’s account. 

Hope has a feeling that Nick is doing it on purpose. Like he knows she’s not really able to argue with him or even defend herself. Then suddenly, she hears Amy speak up, “actually. The two of us met thanks to her drunk call.”

“Seriously? Awww, that’s so sweet,” Jared concludes. 

“The whole story is a little funnier, but yeah. I’d even call it serendipity.”

“You know what would’ve been even sweeter _and_ romantic at the same time? If you two end up dating.” Jared adds.

“We’ve tried… it didn’t work out.” Amy doesn’t know _why_ it feels awkward, but somehow Jared’s comment has done it. 

“Nope,” Hope backs Amy up. 

Amy senses some sort of weirdness settling down. 

“I think I’m going to get going,” Amy announces because she feels like there is no crawling out of the den of weirdness after that. “I have work tomorrow and all,” she justifies her plan with a lie. 

“I think we’re all ready to go home,” Molly joins in. 

Hope raises her right hand to eye-level and mumbles, “me too.”

With the guys staying at the bar, the four of them and Hope leave the bar. Gigi suggests they take two cabs, “we’ll take one,” she refers to herself, Molly, and George, “you and Hope take the other.”

“I’m pretty sure the four of us will fit into one.”

“Sure. But think about her taking the cab by herself while she’s drunk. Look at her embracing that lamppost,” Gigi points at Hope who’s hugging a nearby pole, "I don’t think you’d be a good friend if you didn’t make sure she arrives home safe and sound… Do _you_?”

“No. You’re right.” Gigi is right. Amy wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without knowing Hope has safely gotten home. So when the cab driver asks them where to, Hope tells her address - wrong the first time, but she quickly corrects herself. 

Despite the techno music blasting in the car, Hope makes an attempt to talk to Amy. She leans close to her lips are inches from Amy’s ear. “Thank you for earlier.”

“For what?”

“For coming to my rescue... when Nick was being an ass… about me being drunk.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” 

_Of course, friend_. Though right at this moment she can’t recall too much from the day, the fun she’s had and the way she’s felt are evidence that there is a point to getting to know Amy. Wherever it’s going to go, whenever it’s going to end, or whether it’s going to be worth it in the end or not. 

After she escorts them into Hope’s apartment and tucks the girl into bed, with concern in her eyes, Amy keeps asking reassuring questions, “are you _sure_ you’re going to be okay?”

“I have a bad headache awaiting me in the morning… but other than that,” Hope pauses because she doesn’t know what she wants to say. 

“Okay. I’ll go then - the cab is waiting for me.” But before she leaves Hope’s room, she hears the girl in bed call out, “wait!”

“What is it?” 

“You have to take my keys and lock the front door, because it’s kind of broken… uh, the lock, no, that latch bolt is broken.”

“ _Okay_. But um, if I lock you in, how will you get out?”

“Nick and Jared will be back by the morning.”

“What if there is a fire?” 

“Look, if you want to stay the night just say so, really… I don’t mind.”

“Oh, uh, no, i- that’s not it… okay, I’m taking your keys and I’ll drop them off tomorrow.” Amy takes off since waiting for an answer from Hope would be pointless. 

While she waits for the cab to take her home, she smiles to herself and thinks about how she’s gotten the whole thing wrong. How could she have listened to her brain again? _Right_ , that might be because she muted her heart a long time ago. But now… Amy shakes her head, saving herself from slipping into overthinking. She starts counting passing by street lamps instead.


End file.
